Kind of Girl (TRIGGER WARNING)

Hey everyone! Long time no see! Well, a lot has happened... But anyways I wrote a poem, just now... And I thought that I'd put it on here. So here it is!

Kind of Girl

Here's to the girls who stay up until after midnight

Just to cry themselves to sleep for an hour before their alarm goes off,

Who wonder if they're worth anyone's time,

And who think that time is becoming too much for them.

I'm that kind of girl

Here's to the girls who struggle to get out of bed every morning

Fearing the troubles and criticism they get everyday at school,

Who wear long sleeves and jeans in eighty degree weather,

And lost the shine in their eyes they once had.

I'm that kind of girl

Here's to the girls who think about life in the shower

Trying so hard not to cry,

Whose wrists, and thighs, and stomachs burn,

And know exactly what I'm talking about.

I'm that kind of girl

Here's to the girls who self harm, and have suicidal thoughts

Who think they're completely alone in life,

Who are afraid to ask for help,

And end up bottling it up instead.

I'm that kind of girl.

And here's to you;

You're NOT alone

You ARE worth it

You ARE beautiful

You WILL get through this

Please, DON'T ever give up

Hear Me Out

Hey everyone, I know I haven't posted to this in a long time... But I've uh... Been going through some things that I had to work out.

Please don't pass over this, it's important.

You ARE important

You DO matter

I hear about people my age committing suicide everyday, and it's so heartbreaking. For anyone who has bullied someone before, PLEASE STOP.... Do you know how much you have to hate yourself to take your own life?

I've struggled with self harm, nightmares, and bullying for years. I was on the verge of having an eating disorder...

I just wanted everyone to know that if you are thinking about committing suicide, or self harming, or anything dangerous; please tell someone. Get the help you deserve! No one deserves to feel like crap everyday, and feel like they aren't worth it.

Hotlines:

Depression: 1-630-482-9696

Suicide: 1-800-784-8433

LifeLine: 1-800-273-8255

Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386

Sexuality Support: 1-800-246-7743

Eating Disorders: 1-847-831-3438

Rape & Sexual Assault: 1-800-656-4673

Grief Support: 1-650-321-5272

Runaway: 1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000

Exhale (After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice:) 1-866-4394253

My Tumblr is always open, feel free to message me at any time.

Tumblr: mknealing

One Day

One day, I want to be able to be happy. I want to be able to think about something and not have my entire world crash down again.

One day, I want to go to college, and be a psychologist because everyone deserves to be happy. They just have to ask for help. One day, I want to be able to help the people who have gone through just as much (if not more) as I have gone through. I've been to hell and back, and I want others to know that it gets better.

One day, I want to tell my parents the stuff that I could never tell them. The reason why I locked myself in my room, why I didn't eat when I knew that I should.

One day, I will be happy, and help others in need.

One day, I will beat this burden I have...


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The amazing Dr. Seuss once said, "Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer than you."

It does get better, and you can do anything as long as you put your mind to it.

Stay Beautiful!

~ Melanie

Ahh!

So you know how I had cheerleading tryouts on Saturday (April 11)? Well, I made the team I wanted to! I made the football sideline cheer team, and I'm an alternate on the competition team! Being an alternate, in my eyes, is just as good as having a designated spot on that team.

I hope I get an actual spot.... But I'll settle as an alternate until my coach thinks I'm ready for a permanent spot.


So... My mom is in the hospital, she had a hernia in her stomach, and had to have surgery on it today (April 14).  I've been freaking out all day. She went in at 10:57 this morning, and I got the text saying she was out of surgery at 3:15. But when I talked to her on the phone.. She sounded like she was high... It was really funny. But she's not allowed home yet because she can't exactly function right, considering that she's got a lot of medicine stuff in her. Hopefully, she'll be home later tonight, but I'm not sure.

Well anyways, in celebration of making the cheer teams that I wanted to, here's a cheer thing that I love! This goes for all sports/academic teams. Speech team, baseball, softball, cheerleading... The whole works. So here it is..

Stay Beautiful!

~Melanie

Hmm...

Hey guys!

Sorry I haven't updated for a few days, I've been kinda busy lately. Well anyways, I advanced to sections for the speech team I'm on at school, so I've been practicing a lot.

I've been thinking about a lot recently. My boyfriend, who unfortunately lives on the other side of the country :( sections, which is this upcoming Friday, (April 10th) cheerleading tryouts which is this upcoming Saturday, and still, the last two things I have to dissect in Biology class.

I really love my boyfriend, but I have to admit, it's really hard when we don't get to see each other every day. But we've made it work for the past 2 months, and it's gone pretty well. I can't wait until I can save up enough money to go see him. But that wont be for a while, considering that I don't even have a job yet. He's probably the sweetest guy I know, and he actually gets me! He makes me smile whenever I feel upset, and he always knows the right things to say. I'm surprised he can actually put up with me....

Well anyways, I think I should share some weird facts with you again! You gotta love Pinterest right?

• Hippo milk is pink.... 

• Almonds are part of the peach family

• In 2000, Walmart was sued 4,851 times. That's once every 2 hours

• Think of a number (Do it, just do it) then double it, add six, divide it in half, then subtract the number you originally started with. The answer is always 3.

• The Unicorn is the official animal of Scotland.... (Does anyone know if this is actually true? I really.... REALLY want to know...)

And finally...

• About 1 in every 4 million lobsters is born with a rare genetic defect that turns it blue. One in every 30 million is yellow.

So... yep.... I am addicted to Pinterest...

Marilyn Monroe once said... "So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life's a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about."

Stay Beautiful!

-Melanie

A Few Random Facts....

Hey everyone! I hope everyone has had a good day so far. It is 2:04 pm where I live, so I'm still in school. But it's study hall, so it's fine. :)

Well anyways, because I really don't have much of a life... I'm on Pinterest about 25% of the time, doing something related to speech team 25% of the time, doing some cheerleading thing about 25% of the time, and then school the last 25% of the time..... I have a bunch of random facts for you to read!

• In 1992 thousands of plastic yellow ducks broke free from a cargo ship on the Pacific. They floated halfway around the world for years and were used to study ocean currents.

• The little itty bitty tag that pops out of the Hershey's Kiss is called a Niggly Wiggly! (Isn't that the best!)

• The man who once had the longest beard int he world died when he broke his neck after accidentally stepping on it.

• The praying mantis has an ear between its legs

• Baboons have been known to kidnap puppies and raise them as pets

• A pig in Australia stole 18 beers from a campsite, got drunk, and then tried to fight a cow.

And the last one for a bit...

• There is a jellyfish that can age in reverse, reverting to its earliest stage of life, where it can restart its life-cycle and cheat death.

So yeah..... Just thought I'd let you people know!

Stay Beautiful!

-Melanie

March 25, 2015

Hey everyone!

Well, today has been, well, quite a day!

So, I'm in a biology class at school, unfortunately, it's required... (Sorry if you like biology, or science classes in general...) Well anyways, we have to dissect seven (7) things in that class. I've already finished the earthworm, and the crayfish. I'm about halfway done with the grasshopper. Next is the starfish, then a perch, and then.... a frog.

I don't know if I'll be able to do this! The first two were bad, and the grasshopper is even worse! I can't imagine how bad the last three (3) things are going to be! So, after I'm done writing this, and publishing it, I will be typing an email to send to my biology teacher asking for an alternative assignment. Let's see how that goes...

For all you One Direction fans out there, I'll cry with you over the fact that Zayn has left the band, saying that it was an amazing five (5) years and that he's sorry to the fans that he might have dissapointed. I do get why he left, and he did have legitimate reasons to leave, so please don't give him a hard time. I can tell that it was a very hard decision that he had to make.

For the people who may not be confident with strutting their stuff whenever they can (Me!!) here's a quote for you, that I found on Google today.... (You gotta love Google Images!)

Yep, whenever someone tells you you're weird, and it brings your confidence down a bit... Just tell them that... They won't bother you anymore...

Oh yeah! One last thing... Well, you probably know my name now if you looked at the side of this... I just noticed it today. Don't stalk me.... Please don't. Stalking isn't cool.

Stay Beautiful!

-Melanie

Introduction!

Introductions...

Hey everyone! 

Well, I'm not going to give out my name or anything..... I don't exactly think that would be safe, ya know Internet Safety and all.... But, I still want you to know me. So here it goes!

I'm 15, and in 10th grade. Um... I live in a small town, with only 1,801 people.... Pretty pathetic huh? Well anyways.... I'm a cheerleader, and I'm on the speech team, as well as in choir and the play at my high school.

I guess... Well.... I have a bit of a boring life. My parents got divorced when I was in 1st grade, so I moved from my beloved city, to the country in the middle of nowhere... Yeah, quite a bit of a change if you ask me. Let's see.... My mom found someone else, he's from England. He's a bit of a hothead, but he's really funny. 

I still see my dad, and my two older sisters, pretty much every weekend. Well, I should have three older sisters..... My oldest sister, Jeanie, died when she was three days old. I never got to meet her, and every day I think about how I'm wasting a life that she could have had.

Well anyways, that's all I think I need to say for the time being.

Stay Beautiful!

-M